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January 8
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Comments: 17
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  • Mood: Tense
  • Listening to: Nobody's Hero by Black Veil Brides
  • Reading: Revision Notes
Once again I have abandoned you (how many times have I said that now) and yes, I am a total bitch for it. What makes me even more of a bitch is the fact that I can't see the neglect ending soon; I have a shit-tonne of super-important exams this month and I kinda want to do well, or at least try to, so I'm going to focusing on schoolwork for the next few weeks. Feel free to flame me about this/anything else I have ever done in the comments below; go on, you know I deserve it.

My ongoing feud with my so-called friend is still ongoing. I could have punched her in Critical Thinking today (I didn't). The girls on my table were going on about how stupid the whole '#CutForBieber' thing is (if you don't know, it was trending on Twitter yesterday and was basically this campaign to get Bieber fans to cut themselves in order to persuade Justin to stop smoking Marijuana). My 'friend' who knows I used to have a problem/still kinda do with cutting, decided to say, "Urgh, people who cut themselves are disgusting and sick in the head." I don't know if she meant it directed at me but, well, it still stung. And now I kinda wanna cut myself; I could, easily. I've got scissors and if anyone saw I could just blame my dog. But I'm not as gutsy as I used to be, so we'll see.

Life is a bitch (and so am I - if you get the Green Day reference, I love you)  for the above reasons. And for this reason too; I've got an English retake GCSE exam tomorrow. Retake because I got a U (for un-markable) last time due to me having a massive mental breakdown in the exam and having a panic-attack. It, along with the above, is stressing me out and making me want to cut. A lot.

Enough misery, though; anyone else completely in love with Black Veil Brides' new album? I sure as hell am! Yeah, the whole concept is kinda a rip off of Danger Days (My Chemical Romance), but it's a very different kind of song and it's currently in the process of rocking my socks clean off! :iconrockonplz:

Also, I had this awesomesauce dream the other night and it's given me an idea for some original fiction. Here is a quick summary of the dream; it involved Gerard Way, a Steampunk AU and aliens. Yesh, I have strange (see:epic) dreams. ;P
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:iconporings-4-love:
From the sounds of it; you're having it easy.
:D
Wait until you're college...you'll regret not enjoying you're final days in high school...And you want to take up law; well enjoy your high school now. I have many aunts and uncles who graduated from Cambridge, and all said the same- "Highs school was the easiest thing that ever happened!", and I kinda agreed to that, since I experienced it (though the bitchy part is we have to make 3 full-length thesis and defend all 3 of them [but that's my school...idk how they do it in yours; but I know we have the same stressful tests piling up per quarter. FUCK QUADSEMESTRAL!!]....thank god I got an awesome 90+ for each :D ).

as for Bieber doing marijuana; let him...let him do it in public!
Pictures of him doing marijuana is the best anti-drug campaign EVAH!!!
Marijuana ain't cool anymore 'coz Bieber touched it; as for the fans, let them cut themselves if they want to....and you're friend, well...let's just say she doesn't have the right to say that (even implied), but she does hold some bit of truth in terms of the views of self-worth and viewing how valuable life is.

But I'm not saying that she's totally right, she was wrong for loudly implying it; though the underlying truth that it is kind of unspeakable for a person to harm themselves out of depression. Heck, My family became bankrupt once and we were forced to live in a slum area until we got back to our feet; I felt like trash, but I took pride that I still valued my life. So consider yourself lucky you haven't faced that much fallback (as for family problems, I had whole lots. At one long point in time; the clan from my mom's side was forcing my mom to be annulled because my dad "looked" incompetent for her....there were a lot of emotional turmoils during that time, I never enjoyed like 7 or 8 of my birthdays because of them deliberately tearing my family apart...but that didn't make me push the blade on my veins...I just endured hell, and Voila!! They were like packs of wolves, so close and protective of each other.); and you still have a talent to hold on to. Me, obviously I don't have anything to use in the future; but nonetheless, I always chose to live no matter how fucked-up and useless I feel, because I'm not the only one who relies on me. I've always talked on cutting myself, but I always stopped myself from butchering my hand; not because I'm afraid to die (oh please, I'm preparing myself to die in a horrible bus accident), but I'm afraid that me and my family's pride would be targeted by unmerciful bashings.

Bottomline is that generally, those who slash themselves out of depression is very much dispecable (why do you think I hated Pete Wentz...He deliberately takes pride that he had the guts on taking away his own life); I mean, why take everything away when you have everything with you. Many wished to live a life like yours, being financially free as you are secured by a first-world status. The emotional turmoil is out of the question, 'coz pretty much every had their lowest points (um, hello...I lived in a slum area, and all of my friends knew that I sank that low, how shameful is that?!); pretty much harming their own valued existence is very inhuman if you look at it. Talking about taking away one's own life is tolerable, but taking action is out of the subject.

So if you do want to slash away just for comfort and relief, remember that it's the same as slowly killing yourself. And remember what I said there, because not most people are merciful for self-conflictions like that; that kind of notion is just a hype in tv shows; only a handful of hopefuls are that tolerable to such behavior.

My suggestion is, prepare for hell; 'coz dear, cutting yourself is worse than hell. The enduring may be painful, but it's worth it! It worked for me (I mean, hell, my mom was able to buy me loads of expensive stuff that's pretty much a danger to take out in the open! Thank you strong emotional endurance!! ); so all the more reason it'll work for you.
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:iconcheeselovingchester:
~CheeseLovingChester Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That 'friend' of yours really is a bitch. But you are not.

Please, do not resort to cutting. I know how hard it is, but it is never worth it. Try the ice technique, it's said to work for a lot of people! <3
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, she is. And that's a matter of opinion. ;P
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:iconcheeselovingchester:
~CheeseLovingChester Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I don't think you're a bitch.. :3
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:iconbonesofliars:
~bonesofliars Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The world owes me, so fuck you -cough-

ANYWAY. Sorry about the bitch of a friend, but I'm sure we all have that one friend who is dumb like that. Just stay strong, ignore what she says, and don't cut. Nothing's worth injuring yourself! Also, good luck on your GCSE exam.

I'm not the biggest fan of BVB, but I fell in love with "In The End". It's like my favorite song. I haven't heard the rest of the album, though; I should definitely check it out to see if I like the rest. :D

You should totally write about that dream, sounds weirdly epic. :D
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconhigh51plz::iconhigh52plz:

Yeah, there's always that one friend. Thanks; I think the exam went fairly well, at least it was easier than I expected! :D

That is one of my favourite songs at the moment! You should definitely at least check out 'Lost It All', it's one of those songs that really speaks to me, much like MCR songs do. :)

I've written up a first draught of a prologue. It was weird; in it, for some strange reason, Stoke-on-Trent (British city where my dad lives) was in SPAIN. Lulwot.
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:iconbonesofliars:
~bonesofliars Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's definitely good. Hopefully you did pretty well, then! Oddly, for some reason, whenever I think something is easy, I always end up doing worse than I expected ):

I just checked, and the whole album is on Spotify. I'll probably listen to it later or within a couple of days, 'cuz it looks kinda like it should be listened to in order. o_o

Well, that's pretty odd! Doesn't even sound like a city that would be in Spain! xD
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:iconbittersweetwanderer:
~BittersweetWanderer Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
1. You're a nice person
2. Stop cutting. Altogether. I'm surprised you still do, after all Gerard has said DIRECTLY TO CUTTERS about stopping. Please do, because Beliebers can bleed all they want, us MCR fans will find strength in their weakness, and rise above. We should start a movement called #MCRFansDon'tCut to stop ALL MCR fans from cutting because we are better, smarter people than Beliebers. And we will show that in every opportunity.
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
1. Thanks, so are you. :hug:
2. I haven't cut for a few weeks, but the thought is still there and the urge is getting stronger. I don't really have anything against Beliebers; JB is to them what MCR is to me and who am I to question that? I just feel sorry for them seeing as they're so young and an internet troll (the whole thing was started as a sick joke by 4chan) has clearly taken advantage of their naivety.
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:iconbittersweetwanderer:
~BittersweetWanderer Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
1. Thanks!

2. Heard about that Belieber thing? Of course you have. Beliebers cutting themselves for Bitch-I mean Biebs to give up weed. Anyway, I am starting a movement against this. They use the hashtag #CutForBieber, so us MCRmy members will post on these tweets with the hashtag #ShameOnBieberCuttersRegardsMCRmy. I know it is a long hashtag, but USE IT. If you have a twitter, USE IT. If you have a facebook USE IT. If you have an Instagram USE IT. Post it everywhere that they post pictures of them cutting themselves, claiming that they cut themselves, and saying things like "Liek dis if yhu cut fur Beebs" I need as much support as possible. MCR fans know not to cut themselves, so we should help those less fortunate , perhaps so that they know that cutting will not solve anything, and that if their pretty little Biebs took up a bad habit, then so be it, and a better way to make him stop is to desert his fan-base and join ours. Every deviant who helps will get a llama badge from me and I'm sure others that will help too. Just post evidence of where you helped, and a llama will be sent your way. Posting art in help of this cause will also recieve favorites from me. Re-post this wherever MCR fans are found!


That is the idea for my movement. I am posting it in all the MCR fan clubs here. I hope I get a lot of help!
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