I had my college interview on Tuesday, which was both really good and really, well, depressing. Good because, well, I got in and told that I'll most likely be on the 'Gifted and Talented' register as well as probably being able to get a scholarship (£600 a year) for Humanities/English. Depressing because the first thing the lady said was "I know about your mum". This was depressing for two different reasons; firstly because just mentioning it is depressing, secondly because it pisses me off to think that the first thing everyone thinks about me is 'oh shit, PROBLEM CHILD'. Yes, they kinda have a point, but (not wanting to sound cocky) I'm still getting decent grades; just because shitty things have happened to me it doesn't automatically mean that I'm a shitty person. Nor does it mean that I want their fucking sympathy. Just because I have issues with self harm and (used to) have suicidal tendencies it doesn't mean I want people to pity me or just assume that I'm an asshole-ish problem child who needs a councilor or some shit like that.
ANGSTY RANT.... OVER!!
SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS (NOT REALLY) BEGINNING.... NOW
I went to the Kerrang! Tour last night at Southampton Guildhall; it was FUCKING AWESOME!!! I forced Alex (formerly known as Lookalike) to go with me and, well, I think it was certainly an education for the poor boy seeing as I took his gig virginity. I was trying to get in with this cute emo boy, when Alex thought it appropriate to turn around and say to him in a dead-serious voice, "SHE ABUSES ME". Onto the acts, though; Fearless Vampire Killers, Tonight Alive, Chiodos and Black Veil Brides (alongside their buddy William Control). Tonight Alive were pretty good, but Jenna McDougall's microphone was pretty shit so half the time I couldn't understand what she was singing, although she is an amazing singer. Chiodos were incredible and it was during their set that I abandoned Alex in favor of the mosh-pit (I am still in pain now) whilst he held my bag. Black Veil Brides were great too but, I am ashamed to say (as I am a MASSIVE BVB fan), that Andy Biersack had a backing-track; in short, there was a little bit of lip-syncing going on. Fearless Vampire Killers, though, were the best out of the lot, seriously, it was the first time I've ever seen a mosh-pit to an Elton John song. The gig ended at eleven and I was knackered, as was Alex. In the car on the way home he tried to use my shoulder as a pillow; I was just like, 'bitch please, you're MY pillow' and so it was that he resumed his job as being my cushion. Pffft.... and people think we're together.
On a kind of serious note, I think I'm going to discontinue 'Crossfire'. Why? Because I'm just not really feeling it anymore and the thought of writing a chapter-fic right now is stressing me out. Now, this might be extremely pretentious of me, but, well, I've been thinking about doing a 'My Story' kind of thing. Like a condensed, one-chapter biography of my life, probably starting from when my mum got sick to now, including details on pretty much everything; from why I started cutting to why I REALLY got excused from school for most of last year, although I'm sure that most of you probably know/don't care. Either way, what do you think of the idea?
So, how the fuck are you guys doing??







HOORAY!
And the 'My Story'-thing seems really interesting
Thanks, I think I'll do it.
doing good