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February 24
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Children, Horror Flicks and My Regular Emo Rant

Journal Entry: Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:23 AM
  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Taking Over Me by Evanescence
  • Playing: Temple Run
  • Drinking: Water
Sorry I haven't been replying to comments all that quickly these past few days (I've responded to them all now though!), but I was at my Dad's. It didn't suck as much as I thought it would, largely because I got to meet my four-week-old baby sister and catch up with my other three siblings (a half-sister who is one, a half-brother and step-brother who are both five). My eldest sister has taken to bitch-slapping people, mainly her mother and brothers; something that I find absolutely hilarious. Dad and I played COD together, resulting in him yelling "who's the daddy?!" every time he won. How am I related to this man?

Last night I slept at :iconalexisnotominous: house with a group of other friends to watch horror movies. The first film we watched was horrific; it was called "The Descent". I don't think I've ever screamed so much at a film. I was hiding behind a pillow the entire time. It's a very well-made film, but it completely fucked my shit up.

Yesterday, between getting back from my Dad's and heading over to Alex's, I tore the shit out of my upper right leg. I think it was one of the very few times (if the first) where I've really felt myself lose control with cutting. Like, normally I'll limit myself to three or four cuts a day with minimal bleeding, but yesterday I did well over that and they all bled quite a bit. Every time I catch sight of the cuts I hate myself a little bit more. I know I'm becoming a massive downer to my friends, including those on dA, but I can't help it; I don't even know what the fuck's wrong with me anymore.




On a lighter note; me and :iconblissfull-emo: are running a group on Facebook for Harry Potter, Panic! and MCR fans. It'd mean a lot to us if you could like it! [link]

Skin by Nobody (modified by *CorporateRockWhore)
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:iconcookielivcat:
~CookieLivcat Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhhh okay so cutting is not a good thing. Nope, not all at. But there again, recognising that you've lost control shows you can regain that control. My view on things is, even if you can still do one less cut then usual, that's a good thing. It's not the best thing in the world, but one less is always better.

...I don't know, my logic is weird. But feel free to talk to me if you ever want to talk, I'm always here. <3
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I completely understand and agree with your logic. My only problem is that I seem to be doing more every day rather than less. I am trying though. :)
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:iconvalentinerevenge:
~ValentineRevenge Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Honey, why'd you do it? :(
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know, it's kinda hard to explain.
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:iconvalentinerevenge:
~ValentineRevenge Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just out of habit? Because you were feeling TOO happy and wanted to come down a lil?

Not saying that to be rude, just asking. And yeah, I've done those myself to, so no judgement sent.
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Because it makes me feel better. If only for a moment.

:hug:
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:iconvalentinerevenge:
~ValentineRevenge Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know. :( But while it makes you feel good right when you do it, it makes you feel worse afterward. I'm not going to force you to stop, but please do think about it. I don't want to see you get hurt or get an infection or anything. And if I'm not mistaken, some razorblades are being made with recycled steel these days, which can lead to infections as well... I'm not trying to scare you I'm just telling you to be safe about your cutting if you continue, cause I don't want anything to happen to you... And sorry if this sounds harsh or whatever, but I'm just all whacked out from flu meds >.<
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't use a razorblade, I use scissors or a compass or whatever is to hand if I'm desperate enough. I always look my stuff over to make sure it's clean before I use it.

I really do appreciate your concern. :hug:
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:iconvalentinerevenge:
~ValentineRevenge Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ACK! That;s even worse than a razor blade! At least with shaving razors there's some kind of a standard cause it's against your skin, but a SCISSORS? COMPASS? Like IK where you're coming from, cause of being there before, but please, just because it looks clean, doesn't mean there's a bunch of nasty little microscopic bastards on that fucker waiting to make you suffer. Some of them might even be resistant to antibiotics and normal treatment. IK this sounds bitchy as fuck, but please understand it's only because I don't want you going through the same thing I went through. Long story short, I once used something to cut that looked clean, wasn't my usual tool cause it was in desperation, cut got infected, too scared to tell anyone, by the time I did I managed to miss an amputation by inches. Nothing got cut off, but still, came too close for comfort, and I don't want you in the same position that I was in a while back sitting there and thinking, 'are they gonna have to chop off my arm/leg/hand/etc?'

Sorry for the bitchiness of this but once again, don't want to see you suffering even worse than now, or get an infection or die or anythingbecause of those nasty lil microbes.
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:iconbittersweetwanderer:
~BittersweetWanderer Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, dammit, you know you can talk to me about this kind of stuff. Please, just try to stop, I know it is hard, I understand, but just try to stop for me, for Alex, for Emma, and all your other dA friends and real life friends. We all love you, and hate to see you like this. You can be a real downer, Ellora Sutton, you really can.


I liked the page.
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