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Dear Loneliness,
Will you be my friend?
Because I seem to just be a trend,
That the world has put to bed.

Dear Sorrow,
Will you make me smile?
Because Happiness has run a mile,
Just like everything else I need.

Dear Pessimism,
Will you help me hope?
Because Optimism is a slippery slope,
When you've seen the world.

Dear Apathy,
Will you make me care?
Because I hate Interest's flare,
In a place too dull for life.

Dear Agony,
Will you make me content?
Because you're the one that'll prevent,
That which I long for.

Dear Death,
Will you make me feel alive?
Because I don't even want to survive,
In a world that cares too much.

Dear Hell,
Will you make me a saint?
Because I don't deserve a heavenly taint,
Due to the sinner that I have become.

Dear Friends,
Will you make me your sob-story?
Because you want all of the pride and glory,
Of surviving where your buddy fell.
Please let me know what you think/how to improve.
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:icontherealpetron:
TheRealPetron Featured By Owner Edited May 15, 2015  New member Hobbyist Writer
There's nothing in need to be improved. This is all the right words in all the right places! A really powerful poem with a thought-provoking ending.
Reply
:iconspasticpug:
Spasticpug Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I've met these friends every day
Reply
:iconathairaxaurora:
AthairaxAurora Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015
Very nice. I like it. But I would have left out Dear Hell and Dear Friends. That's just me though. I can't find the words to express what I'm feeling about this piece other than 'relatable' It's clear and well put. Good one
Reply
:iconada666pounder:
Ada666pounder Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice :blackrose:
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconmcckaja:
mcckaja Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good.Very good.Also dear agony reminds me of Breaking Benjamin song with the same title.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconmcckaja:
mcckaja Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Any time
Reply
:icongeorgiesummers:
GeorgieSummers Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
What on Earth do you mean, 'improve'? This is so beautifully written! And it's really clever the way the second line of each verse seems to contradict the first and... it's just really beautiful xD
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, thank you very much! :glomp:
Reply
:icongeorgiesummers:
GeorgieSummers Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! xD:huggle:
Reply
:iconalienchief:
alienchief Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Writer
 I wouldn't change a damn thing about it... This poem is great !
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!! :D
Reply
:iconchaosisawakening:
ChaosIsAwakening Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student General Artist
I am in love with this poem, so very well written!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!! :D
Reply
:iconsciencenerdart399:
ScienceNerdArt399 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are amazing, this poem is just wow, I'm speechless. Good work!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you very, very much! :)
Reply
:iconforgottenhalcyondays:
ForgottenHalcyonDays Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Student Writer
Wow thats an excellent poem, no need for improvements but the theme is interesting and very well written. Keep it up!
Reply
:iconrise-above-normality:
rise-above-normality Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013
I'd love to point out a stanza and just say "I really loved this stanza."
But I can't decide which stanza is the best o.o
Great job, an honest, emotional, and thoughtful piece.
Reply
:iconisacvinod:
isacvinod Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
here is a great option
[link]
Reply
:iconkuramasdream:
kuramasdream Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
love it! you are very talented
I like the rhyming pattern as well!
Reply
:iconaurorahigh:
aurorahigh Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I had tried everything because of this im always one step ahead ive finally reached the top keep this between us
[link]
Reply
:iconmissstar489:
MissStar489 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is pretty darn cool.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconwebmasterseb:
webmasterseb Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Dear Agony reminds me of the Breaking Benjamin song of the same title. :P

Anyways, good poem. :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, I'll have to check it out! :D

Thanks! :)
Reply
:icongingerrage21:
GingerRage21 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh loneliness
How would I know
Who I am
Without you?
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very good. :)
Reply
:icongingerrage21:
GingerRage21 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks ^-^ Your poem is very good. You should use the term epopoeist, I heard once it means one who writes epic poetry XD
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome. :)

Thank you very much! Haha, I prefer the term 'emoetry' (my word for emo poetry), so I guess that would make me an emoet. ;P
Reply
:iconleonray:
leonray Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dear Hell,
Will you make me a saint?
Because I don't deserve a heavenly taint,
Due to the sinner that I have become


^^^ PROFOUNDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lol, thanks! :)
Reply
:iconleonray:
leonray Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
my blog :[link]

Reply
:iconblack-lightning6:
black-lightning6 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
wow you are a good poet ^^
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you very much! :D
Reply
:iconsparkzinsanity:
SparkzInsanity Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013
Wow this is very well done ^^ thanks for sharing
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
Reply
:iconsaramartinsblueheart:
SaraMartinsBlueHeart Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
perfect
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconmaniczephyr:
ManicZephyr Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well written and structured!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconbittersweetwanderer:
BittersweetWanderer Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful. You think you need to improve, PLEASE. You are perfect at this.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you very, very much! :hug:
Reply
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February 26, 2012
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