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There are certain things I’ll never say,
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.

But nobody will ever help me,
Not really,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Thanks for reading. :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconredharring45:
redharring45 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014
This makes me want to hug you right now. I'm trying so hard to not cry right now. I feel like this is me but to a lesser extent. This is just truly amazing
Reply
:iconnikkiclaire98:
NikkiClaire98 Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Honestly. I am sobbing right now. This is amazing. All of your poetry is amazing. It describes my life perfectly. PERFECTLY> Thank you for being you!
Reply
:iconak311294:
ak311294 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014
be strong and never give up
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:icondrcrazywolf:
DrCrazyWolf Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There are things I never want to say like " good-bye ". I hate those words. If you to know why go look in my journal. But please stay strong for all of us. We might not friends but, you can talk to me if you want to, and remember that life is beautiful and everyday that you're alive is a gift, don't waste it.:( 
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :hug: :hug: :hug:
Reply
:iconartsymidget:
ArtsyMidget Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
I liked this, but it went to far for me. Along with that it took a different direction than I could relate to. Would you mind if my version of this?
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks; I'm glad you liked it! :D

Go for it! :)
Reply
:iconthe11thnightfall:
The11thNightfall Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
We all have many things we'll never say. Thank you for telling us.
Reply
:iconflamingodancer123:
flamingodancer123 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
Close many a heart, I think we have all been there at times,  but never give in, never give up!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconnakamuraishimaru:
NakamuraIshimaru Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Student Artist
Your writing always helps me. I just want to say thank you... through expressing your pain you're helping others, and that's something not all writers can do. <3
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :hug:
Reply
:iconnakamuraishimaru:
NakamuraIshimaru Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Student Artist
Aww, no problem <3 but really I should be thanking you ;P
Reply
:iconbaltoscamplover4ever:
baltoscamplover4ever Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is...wow. I am honestly floored. I walk this dark path from time to time. I'm terrified of being alone, but the only time I'm halfway civil is when my grandmas gone to bed. I hate this feeling, this drowning and inescapable-ness. I cut sometimes, and the sad thing is I can't even consider myself a cutter, since I don't have enough courage to slit my veins, only the top of my forearm, which bears deep scars by now. To think all it'd take to be with my beautiful Mom who I miss so much, is just one or two harsh slits, and I could do it upstairs while 'taking a bath' and my grams wouldn't know until it was too late. I have no courage, but I have to keep living too. I have to make her proud of the daughter she left behind last September, but must I keep up this facade? I'm not afraid of death really, but I think I'm scared of being found. It's so easy to hide cuts by stating I "got cut on thistles and thorns saving my dog" I can't eve tell my best friend I'm still cutting. She knew about the first time but not after that. You've got me thinking, though in which direction I'm heading cn't ay for sure. What I do know is you are so talented for this, the poems. Many of them have got me thinking tonight. Keep it up!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much. :hug:

Any type of cutting makes you a cutter, but it isn't a good thing. I haven't cut since the January just gone; my longest clean streak since I started in 2011. I'm in a similar position to you, I think. My mother died in March 2012 and I live with my grandparents and aunt. I tried to kill myself in the summer of 2012 and let me tell you, I am so glad I failed. I told my closest friends I was cutting and they helped me so much, even if it was clear how much I was hurting them. Don't be afraid to ask for help from the people around you. They'd probably rather know and be able to help you than let you suffer alone. 

If you ever need to talk, about anything, feel free to note me. :hug:
Reply
:iconrockint765:
RockinT765 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Do you really… you know? If you do then I think I might cry. 
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:

I used to self harm, starting when I was fourteen (I'm seventeen now), but I haven't since January - my longest clean streak so far. :)
Reply
:iconrockint765:
RockinT765 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Stay strong! :) You're still young. Wonderful things can and will happen.
Reply
:icontesuka-hilu:
Tesuka-Hilu Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
If you think, think of how special you are, and I mean REALLY are you know that you can't take that away from the world. If you crie for others know you can kill yourself, cause you need to help them! Survive yourself!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :hug:
Reply
:icontesuka-hilu:
Tesuka-Hilu Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
CANT
Reply
:icontesuka-hilu:
Tesuka-Hilu Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
If you think, think of how special you are, and I mean REALLY are you know that you can't take that away from the world. If you crie for others know you (cant) kill yourself, cause you need to help them! Survive yourself!
Reply
:iconnatureisnatural:
Natureisnatural Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
Yes... so true....
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:iconwoflhowl:
Woflhowl Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This fits every introverted person (me included), but I MUST mention that along with the dumb things that go through our minds, there is a lot more going in our heads, things that simple people wouldn't understand, and we honestly need to remind ourself more often, that we are better than the simple masses. :)
Reply
:iconjennyorlean:
jennyorlean Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is one of the very few things I can ever relate to. And it fits me completely
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:iconjennyorlean:
jennyorlean Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:)
Reply
:icontlbawesome:
tlbawesome Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
This is me entirely .... Great now imma cry ( runs off to corner and cries) DONT LOOK AT ME IM CRYING IT ISH FORBIDDEN TO SEE ME CRY EVEN THOSE I TRUST THE MOST DONT SEE MEH CRY!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:icontardglompplz:
Reply
:icon246ernie2:
246ernie2 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013
I wish i coudnt relate but i can...............i love this poem and i will never stop reading it. <3

Reply
:iconrockaria-owl31:
Rockaria-Owl31 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
This is a very realistic poem. It is honest and true. There are so many things I wish I could just say or do, but I can't because I am afraid to do so, because I don't want to be looked at differently and pushed away.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconrockaria-owl31:
Rockaria-Owl31 Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
:D
Reply
:iconkuratha:
kuratha Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013
... im exactly like that... i tried google mapping suicide forest... google images is better.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Woah. I look suicide forest up based on your comment and that's a pretty dark place. It's sad that a place of such natural beauty got turned into a place of endless death.
Reply
:iconkuratha:
kuratha Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
it made me sad too.. i really want to go there and help clean up the bodies so its a beutiful place again... and maybe get my dad a skull for x mas...
Reply
:iconrainismysunshine:
rainismysunshine Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
<3
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconrainismysunshine:
rainismysunshine Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
:huggle:
Reply
:iconnarcaholic:
Narcaholic Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Student
I love how honest this poem is, and I feel the same way entirely.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :hug:
Reply
:iconpitbullwolfxhtg:
PitbullWolfxHTG Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013
Amazing!

Stay strong! :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
Reply
:iconpitbullwolfxhtg:
PitbullWolfxHTG Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013
:)
Reply
:iconstealthyninja21:
stealthyninja21 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Student General Artist
I don't really know how to make you feel any better, but I feel you. I know how all of it feels, and i guess I wish someone would just read my mind and try to save me, but I know thats not gonna happen. You are really brave for being able to write your feelings and put them here for everyone to see.
It does get better. Keep going. :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very, very much. :hug:
Reply
:iconbasthevampire:
BAStheVAMPIRE Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
These are....
The most beautiful thinks I ever heard
Reply
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