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Misery makes me happy
Because it means I'm real
And pain makes me content
Because it makes me feel.

Sleep makes me tired
Because life's too short
And fun makes me bored
Because I know it's been bought.

Breaking makes me fixed
Because it makes me alive
And breathing makes me drown
Because life will deprive.

Lying makes me honest
Because it makes me me
And dying will make me live
Because then I will be free.
Please let me know what you think/how to improve. :)
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:icongilpires:
GilPires Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
So here's how it works, poetry is not something I give a lot of credit... most of the poems I read here on DA are overflowing with teenage hormones and suck... but once in a while there's this one that I like and relate to.
Congratulations.
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very, very much; it really means a lot to know that you like this! :D
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:iconericchi:
Ericchi Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Woww, you have a real talent for writing don't you now! *0*
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you very much! :icontardglompplz:
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:iconperfection273:
Perfection273 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Student General Artist
If I did a SLIGHTLY creepy reading of this poem, and credited you, would you be happy?
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Go for it! And if possible, let me know how it turns out! :D
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:iconperfection273:
Perfection273 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Student General Artist
On youtube. Just to clarify
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:iconkittysib:
KittySib Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
Awesome! So true and AWESOME!!!!! I :heart: this poem!:D
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much; I'm glad you like it. :)
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:iconkittysib:
KittySib Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
:D
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:iconkaren-chanoverdrive:
Karen-chanOVERDRIVE Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
I love the concept of this one!
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is great. =)
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
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:iconrainismysunshine:
rainismysunshine Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Amazing! I love it!
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :D
Reply
:iconamanda-graham:
Amanda-Graham Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Professional Writer
Doll

oh god how your work has progressed since we first introduced ourselves!!!!

(smiles)broadly

Mandy
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you soooooo very much! It really means a lot to me that you think I've improved! :D
Reply
:iconikingfisher:
IKingFisher Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
I really like this, you have a great use of rhyming; The title too works well by providing context for the intent.

If I could suggest anything it would just be the way you phrase things, by changing up wording a bit you make it even more interesting.

"And pain makes me content
Because it makes me feel."

could be

"and pain makes me content
because it lets me feel"


or

"Breaking makes me fixed
Because it makes me alive"

could also be worded

"breaking fixes me
It makes me alive"
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! It took me ages to think of a title, so I'm glad you think it works well.

I see what you mean, would you mind if I used your wording instead?


Thanks for taking the time to leave such a helpful comment! :D
Reply
:iconikingfisher:
IKingFisher Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
go ahead and do whatever you like :)

People often forgo comments and i feel it's a mistake, there is so much to be gained through communication. We are the first generation to be able to communicate so freely around the world and yet we already take it for granted
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