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Come on, just look at me,
I lost Happy to Misery,
In a dance with Pedigree,
Amidst the sirens of Apathy,
In the mosh pit in my head.

Can't you see how fun I am?
When my Pride's on the lam,
Sipping Sorrow like Baby Cham,
Falling foul of Honesty's scam,
On the dance floor in my chest.

I look so grievously good,
Doing what Agony should,
And what Depravity would,
In command of the red regiments stood,
On the catwalk of my wrist.

I can hear them pounding,
Watching and surrounding,
Laughing and floundering,
With Pain and Woe hounding,
In the nightclub of my gut.

My guests are saying to,
Cheer no longer pulling through,
Despair sticking like glue,
With Sin ready to sue,
At the opera in my throat.

Watch me as I lose control,
As Loneliness takes it's toll,
Filling out Insanity's role,
Joining Death's lost shoal,
Inside the crypt of life.

See my eyes flutter and fade,
Marching in the Black Parade,
Finding shelter in Hate's shade,
And losing all I had ever made,
As the curtain closes,
To a dozen black roses,
At the party in Pity's house.
I got inspiration for this when someone commented on another one of my poems ("Who Needs Friends?"), calling it an "emo pity party", and I thought that sounded kind of cool; thus birthing this useless ramble.
Please let me know what you think/how to improve.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkaren-chanoverdrive:
Karen-chanOVERDRIVE Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012
an emo pity part lol

I really like your poems, (and for some reason, I always really love the endings. I especially love the last stanza of this one)

that's really cool that you found inspiration to write this from someone's comment
You're a great poet
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much; I'm extremely pleased that you like my crap! :glomp:
Reply
:iconkaren-chanoverdrive:
Karen-chanOVERDRIVE Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
Tis not crap, my friend *hugs back*
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:iconrebbiechan:
RebbieChan Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Turning a troll/flame comment into great poetry? That's skill right there :D
Great work^^
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :D
Reply
:iconuruwashiijoshii:
uruwashiijoshii Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with Amani. Darling, you are wonderful. I would sweep you up and hug you senseless if I could, just at the sheer hilarity of how funny you turning a comment like that around is.

Genius way to start a poem, very nice poem. You're probably right, not one of your best works, but I imagine the first commentor, Snipe, is right. You're very good, but I think you may find your criticism very lax over here compared to what an English Major in England might judge your work, just because it's easy for an American to fall in love with even the composition of English dialogue. It sounds witty and awe-inspiring, even in text. You'll have to excuse us, because we have 'no' backgrounding in the arts anymore, most Americans.

I suppose what I'm saying is get use to it, just in a subtle way. Oh, I hope at least the advice you receive carries you through and you don't get a big head.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much; I'm glad you found it funny! It just seemed like a shame to put such a potentially interesting insult to waste without at least trying to do something halfway productive with it.

It is definitely not my best by a long shot and the more I read it, the less I like it. I'm sure that's not true about Americans; you seem to have an amazing grasp on the arts and have an extremely thoughtful way of sharing your views!

I would hate to get a big head and I hope to God that I never do.

Thanks for taking the time to comment! :)
Reply
:iconuruwashiijoshii:
uruwashiijoshii Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It would have indeed been a shame, and I'm glad you found the brighter of things so productively. Truly, not a lot of writers would have even done something at all with that at your age, much more make it so eloquently.

I'm sure you'll learn to like it and perhaps even build off of it with age, hopefully keeping your demeanor in an unbridled and carefree sort of sense. If it's more structured, hats off to you. Americans don't really allow for that sort of audience, it's horrible here.

As for my view-sharing, I'm good at it because I love to write and chat. It keeps me vibrant and a lot less aloof in the sense that I'm not completely disillusioned from the facts of the world, but it's not a great way to spend your time unless you can find a healthy community. I use to use chat software at your age but I was quite a bit more adventurous. Perhaps you can try a website that I often create characters on for role-playing. I'll send you a note. I must say, however, that I'm one of a kind. There are far and few Americans that will actually fall in love with the ideology behind writing or fine arts in general. Most of them seem more attuned towards the mainstream, and following rather than leading. They'd rather hear about what movies are good rather than "waste [their] time" rummaging through old ones or perhaps memorizing what directors put out what style of film in what genre, because I've met a few film buffs and they can tell just based on the stylistics, and mostly go for the new guys' work.

As for your relations with God and your self-esteem, don't hope to God. He made it and I'm sure he'll always think it's just fine unless you're lucky enough to hear it from a friend. You seem very even-tempered, though. I think you'll be great.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I looked at in a kind of "life gives you lemons, make lemonade" style-way. And thank you very much for calling it eloquent!

I'm very glad that you love to write and chat; your comments really do add interest and smiles to my day! You're definitely right about finding a healthy community though. I used to use this chat-site-thing, but I got kind of creeped out by the people on it; apparently being a girl on the internet means that you're some sort of cyber-slut (which I most certainly am NOT). Americans sound just like the English when it comes to following rather than leading, I guess people are kind of like sheep waiting for society to herd them onto the greenest field.

Thank you very much! :hug:
Reply
:iconuruwashiijoshii:
uruwashiijoshii Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Being a girl on the internet constitutes these things in chat to most people:

1. That you're instantly interested.
2. That you always chat partially naked.
3. That you will marry the first man that you see.
4. That you have half-naked pictures you're willing to share of your junk.

I never really understood it myself, but MySpace did fund a very large amount of the reason why women are so heavily stereotyped. It's sad, in my opinion. If these women weren't fed into thinking they were mindless sex machines, many of them may turn into wonderful and beautiful young women. I've seen one before, she was wonderful. I almost refused to date her just because she had turned-out so well.

As for people, I think it's part of green grass syndrome. Many people are so apt to look for a happier lifestyle through art, they just get so tired of running around and not being informed that they wait for a cult or large acclaim instead of looking for something that might actually interest them. I've seen a few of my friends fall into it just because they got tired of being picky, and it only did them worse.
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha! :D I think that what you say about what most people think of girls on the internet is very true, at least from my experiences anyway. It is kind of sad that something as potentially wonderful as the internet has bred so many false stereotypes that people not only believe, but feel as though they have to live up to.

I think that an example of something where people have been led to a thing through an almost cult-like medium is the Twilight Saga. I've got two friends who wouldn't have anything to do with it when it was just a book (saying that it looked like emo crap) but now they both worship it. Or rather worship Robert Patterson because he is "hawt". But the interesting thing about Twilight is that, not only did acclaim and coverage make it likable, it also spawned haters through it's popularity. I myself cannot stand Twilight, but when it first came out I tried to get into it because that's what everyone else was doing; I guess that's just how media and marketing work in a world where everyone expects to have everything handed to them on a plate.
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:iconuruwashiijoshii:
uruwashiijoshii Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The weird thing is that the internet still makes an attempt at being wonderful, regardless of how unstable it is. As though we could so easily have such a wonderful way of life, but we're so bitter at life for being so boring next to potentially quicker, that we'd sacrifice what could have been the most influential and wonderful revolution the world would have ever seen. It's very unfortunate, actually. The dotcom booms were a result of greed, and we all have to pay for it. Go America! We started that crap!

Twilight is just the beginning of it. Have you ever heard of Pokemon? That use to have a cult following. A lot of the people I know that use to play that, still do. It's almost a timeless fascination, then again. I find it interesting that right after a cult following for the boys, one for both sexes and then for the girls follows, and of course the one for the girls is way more popular. They say there's 1 male to every 7 females or so, it's pretty wild. Anyway, it makes me wonder what it'd take a book series like Myst to get popular.

Not that I'm plugging it, but check out the Myst series sometime if you have a chance. (And by your REAL MYST MERCHANDISE at imadethisup.com. No but seriously, if you ever find the dialect of D'ni, I'd be happy to study it just for the hell of it. Myst is my favorite book series.)

As for silver platters, most Americans are like that. I wouldn't be surprised if Britain is soon to follow, seeing as America steals most of the trends and such that it has. We'll see what the future of entertainment is, but I think it'll just separate into the bored and lonely over the standard, action-flick movie-goer. Hopefully we aren't just perpetuated by film, though the movies do hold a lot of power and they 'are' getting bored, so perhaps saying that is a little nearsighted of me.
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:iconamani-ishikawa:
Amani-Ishikawa Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012
Ha ha...an 'emo pity party'? Only a truly awesome person can take a comment like that and turn it around. I would say you are quite flame retardant. :lmao: Nicely done and great work on the not-so-subtle 'IN YOUR FACE'.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!
I know that it was meant to be an insult, I probably deserved it, but it seemed like such a cool and poetical phrase that I just really wanted to see what I could do with it.
Haha, thanks! :D
Reply
:iconamani-ishikawa:
Amani-Ishikawa Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
I don't think you deserved the insult. This is your little spot on the Internet to let your voice be heard, so if people don't like it, they can GTFO. Also I recommended 'Who Needs Friends?" for a DD. I hope they put you up. :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very, very much! :glomp:
Reply
:iconkarmakid94:
KarmaKid94 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student Writer
Love the imagery in this! And the TBP reference in the last stanza!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much and I'm very pleased that you picked up on that! :icontheblackparadeplz:
Reply
:iconkarmakid94:
KarmaKid94 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student Writer
How could I not?!
Reply
:iconsadisticyellowbird:
SadisticYellowBird Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm in love with the way you phrase your words. However, I am quite at loss for words to describe how amazing this is. You did a wonderful job.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much; I'm extremely pleased that you think this is alright, I was worried that it was kinda terrible!
Thanks! :glomp:
Reply
:iconsadisticyellowbird:
SadisticYellowBird Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Honestly, I don't understand how you could have thought that. It's wonderful. It's like looking towards a clear blue sky as it turns to a cold, indifferent, grey as it gradually emits an odor of the past. It's beautiful...for lack of better words.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much. :)
Reply
:iconsnipe101221:
Snipe101221 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well executed. The way you word your words with such emotion is breath taking and I truly hope you continue down this creative path. This is a gift that shouldn't be locked up but expressed more. Very well done.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you. I don't know about any sort of gift, but I shall definitely try to carry on down this path. Thank you very much for taking the time to leave such a kind comment! :hug:
Reply
:iconsnipe101221:
Snipe101221 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you welcome its a pleasure to read such literature me myself I only sketch drawing. What you do you sketch drawing with your words.I have no idea how you come up with these poems but they are very beautiful and its truly a pleasure knowing them.
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