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Submitted on
April 8
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I used to cut myself.

Some of the marks faded,
But some stayed
And now I’m forever jaded.
People have kissed my scars,
Others have turned away
But here is what I have to say;
It isn’t beautiful.

When it hurts to walk
Because your thighs are bleeding,
When you can’t talk
About the help you’re needing;
It isn’t beautiful.

When it’s boiling outside
But you have to wear sleeves
Because of your bloody little
Reprieves;
It isn’t beautiful.

When your friends
Are scared of you,
For you,
Of the things you do;
It isn’t beautiful.

When you feel so worthless,
So down and out,
Used up and empty,
And all you do is shout
But nobody hears,
Because you silence it
With sleeves;
It isn’t beautiful.

When they find out
And you see how much,
How deeply they care
And they hate themselves
For not being aware;
It isn’t beautiful.

When they take it away,
And monitor you
And you’re itching all over,
Desperate for it,
For one last hit
And you’re a nervous wreck;
It isn’t beautiful.

So please
Stop romanticising it.
Take it from a girl
With lines and lies
All up her
Arms and thighs;
It isn’t beautiful.
This is something I've been wanting to write for a while. I self-harmed for over three years, having finally stopped this January just gone. And something that really annoys me is when I see people romanticising it and making it out to be something beautiful. Maybe I even bought into that idea too, perhaps I even promoted it. But that's why romanticising something like self-harm is so dangerous; it makes it look like it's an okay thing to do, that it's cool and beautiful or whatever. It isn't. It's dangerous, painful and incredibly unhealthy. You hurt yourself and you hurt everyone around you, everyone who cares; even if you think there isn't anyone who cares, trust me, there always is. 

Sorry for the rant, but I really wanted to say it. If you ever need to talk about self-harm or if you have any questions, always feel free to note me. :hug:
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:iconghostskeletonbride:
GhostSkeletonBride Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  New member
I used to cut;describes it perfectly . I don't cut anymore , but I have several scars .
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:iconghostskeletonbride:
GhostSkeletonBride Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  New member
It's been a year since I stopped , so yay .
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Same - I don't cut anymore, but I have scars. Well done on stopping! :hug:
Reply
:iconbooblicious2000:
booblicious2000 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  New member
I absolutely love this piece. The experience is so evident in your words that it really strikes a cord with someone whos been through the same thing. No one could have said it any better.
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :hug: :hug: :hug:
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:iconanileseybear:
Anileseybear Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  New member Hobbyist Artist
But this IS beautiful. Your writing is beautiful. The scars themselves and perhaps everything that goes along with it isn't but you are beautiful. <3
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:iconaart212:
aart212 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014
I always wondering how the fuck do you decide to cut yourself, is it like you walk into the bathroom and see and razor and say "that looks hella sharp wonder what i can do with it".
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:icondesearu:
desearu Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2014
The Internet is full of explanations you can read.
You don't need to ask someone who actually cut themself and make it sound like they did it out of stupidity...
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:iconflameboy007:
Flameboy007 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014
:')
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:iconxdruchii:
xDruchii Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014
My older brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. One of his symptoms is selfharm. He doesn't cut himself, he burns hmself, but i suppose the effects are the same. Speaking as a sibling, there is nothing, absolutely nothing beatiful about selfharm. It is either a serious mental illness or it is a symptom of one. The scars are up and down his arms and torso, and i get the urge to physically cringe when i see them. I can see how much it hurts the rest of my family, myself and my brother. If you feel the urge to selfharm, please seek help.

Btw, sorry for posting two comments, i just needed to write this after i read some of the other stories. I am very glad that you're doing better :)
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