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June 23
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If you hold the door open for me,
I hope it's because it's a decent thing to do
And nothing to do with my gender.
If you buy me a drink,
Expect me to do the same for you.

I'll cook for you
(If you don't mind burnt food)
And I'll clean for you
(If you'll return the favour).
Not because I'm a woman,
But because it's a nice thing to do.

If you're nice to me,
It's not a ticket for sex.
If I'm nice to you,
Sex doesn't always come next.

If we go for a meal,
I want to split the bill.
I don't expect you
To sing to me,
Whilst climbing through my window sill.

I don't care if you've had sex or not,
As long as it's the same for me.
I don't want diamond rings,
Don't get down on one knee

I don't owe you anything
And you owe me nothing.
My gender is not entitlement,
And neither is yours.

If I'm drunk, I can't consent,
And I'll love you more for not doing it.
If you hit me, I'll leave you,
And if I hit you, it's just as wrong.

If I cry in front of you,
I don't expect you to fix everything.
If you cry in front of me,
I'll do everything I can to fix it.

If I wear 'too little'
Don't tell me to change.
You can wear whatever you want,
And I won't think it strange.

If I say no, that's what I mean,
And don't be scared to say no to me.
Understand that you don't own me,
We are people. We are free.
I haven't written anything feministy in ages, and we've been studying Carol Ann Duffy in English, so here we are.
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:icongrumpyoldrossco:
GrumpyOldRossco Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014
Why would anyone want to court a Feminist?
Reply
:iconsymmetricshinigami:
SymmetricShinigami Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014
Because they want a relationship with someone who actually values both men and women. 
Reply
:icongrumpyoldrossco:
GrumpyOldRossco Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
Many non-Feminists value both men and women, what on Earth are you talking about. In fact MOST people value men and women. 
That is why we all have equal rights and equal laws protecting us and share the same burdens. We all have the same opportunities. All this talk does is throw false flgs around. It is like talking about how there are murderers in society and we do not know what goes on in their minds or which of us may be a murderer in their lifetime. 

*LOOKS AT EACH OF YOUR USERNAMES AND WORRIES IS ANY OF YOU GOING TO GO POSTAL*

False threat narratives are what feeds Feminism.
Reply
:iconwakaflockaflame1:
wakaflockaflame1 Featured By Owner Edited Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
True dat, I also see my comment was removed,lol
Reply
:iconirishfury97:
Irishfury97 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014
Interesting. You certainly give a point of view I'm not used to. I used to date a girl who was slightly feminist, and being raised from a young age to be the perfect gentleman, it boggled me when she offered to pay for a date, didn't mind seeing me cry(of all the two or three times it happened), and even outright told me she hated my singing. Definitely food for thought.
Reply
:icongurtagon:
gurtagon Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have a link to this in my instagram bio if that's ok haha
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:icongrumpyoldrossco:
GrumpyOldRossco Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
Terribly sorry you had the idea this was Feministy
How do you figure? None of the things you stated are thought generally to be "entitlements". All of the things you mentioned could be said for either gender. It is not any real statement is it?

Pretty much everything you wrote here may be truthful BUT it is ONLY because they are self-evident. 
But...some people may think that singing at a window or buying a date dinner is a percursor and entitlement to sex? WHICH PEOPLE?
It has NEVER been the case. So again you mentioning it like it is somehow needing to be reaffirmed is stupid. Sorry, but it is. 
Now IF you are getting "being nice" and wanting to endear yourself to someone because you are sexually interested.

A) Men and women BOTH do this (though men have been socialised to be proactive pursuers, whilst women socialised to be pursued)
B) Women generally would not want to be the pursuers because it exposes them to rejection. Men are taught to be unemotional and handle rejections (a male's ability to handle rejection depends largely on the male) whereas the female needs to work out how much she likes the advances and the person behind the advances and can accept or reject at will. The male rarely gets this option. This is part of the reason for the stud/slut dichotomy - unfair as it may or may not be)
C) Sometimes being nice is wanting to further a relationship and whilst the person may Also be thinking about the person in sexual ways and hoping that things will progress, it is not solely for that end result. Thinking sexually about someone does not smear everything you do as a brazen attempt to get them to bed. 
D) Sometimes the 1%'ers that are being nice to someone has the flow on effect of the other person thinking well of you. Maybe them thinking of you well for being nice may lead (Even if not by design) to sleeping with someone that you like. 

But its funny you know, looking at your poem, none of this is kind of even alluded to.

It seems reaffirming self-evident truths thinly disguised as pretending to state that they are questionable and suggestive of an underlying problem that does not exist. You may say "But some guys are players". Yes and "Some women are gold diggers" but making a poem about them and trying to pretend it is a gender issue or a big social problem or a mindset that is widespread or trying to pin it to some poisonous ideology...is kind of dishonest.

So given the above....why did you write this?
Reply
:icondarksapphiredrop:
darksapphiredrop Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014

Um, no shit it was because FEMINISM is often mistaken or MATRIARCHY. Have you been looking at male hate blogs on tumblr or something?

Although there are some bitchy women who call themselves feminists, they aren't true feminists.

The fucking term feminism was invented to target and suggest that women wanted special fucking privileges instead of the original "equality" idealism, making it hard to even bring the issue up without immediately having bias. This is included in the more modern term egalitarianism.

As for your B, you are saying that women can't handle rejection. No,you're talking about shy or unhappy women, who have either had bad experiences, don't know how to deal with life, or just don't value relationships that much. If a girl wants you, she will rip out a rival's throat out with her hands if she can. Middle school girls have killed for boys, and you think we can't handle rejection? abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines…

If we can handle the mental stress of murder, we sure as hell can handle rejections as well as any guy can.

Men aren't socialised to be active pursuers: they are taught to go after girls even to the point of fucking stalking. And yes, my friends have been stalked. Women aren’t socialized to be chased: they’re expected to wait to be chased, and ones who don’t are called sluts. Those who run are called prudes. Those who fucking complain about the system are bitches.

 

And you wonder why she wrote this poem? Because of losers like you, thank you very much.

 

Sexism is alive and well, thriving actually, in YOU.

 

I hope you recognize you can’t compartmentalize genders and sexes, and that in doing so, you are creating behavioral expectations and biases on genders.

Reply
:icongrumpyoldrossco:
GrumpyOldRossco Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
What a load of complete and unmitigated bullshit from whoa to go. 
Now I suggest there is exactly one of two reasons for this, either you are really ignorant or you are dishonest. Probably stupid to boot, in either case. 

But let's go at this big pile of fail inno particular order. 

WAS I saying that women CAN'T handle rejection OR was I saying that men have been socialised to spare women this by being the ones that have to pursue women? 

These are VERY, VERY different things. I can tell you it was the latter and you say it was the former. Given exactly what I wrote, it informs the latter and does not even suggest the former. So why were you dishonest here. I mean you clearly were and it is an old tried and true Feminist debate technique. "Replace what was ACTUALLY said with something that wasn't said or implied, feign outrage and attack what wasn't said. This is called a Strawman argument. Bait and switch and caught. 

Now why ARE men taught to be the pursuers? Probably the same reasons as men are the ones to expose themselves to harm or get women and children into the lifeboats, or answer a strange knock at the door late at night or otherwise expose themselves to risk. It is perhaps an outmoded outdated and unnecessary vestige of chivalry. Either way they are socialised to be men and part of "manning up" or "being a man" taps into these things. 

Now here is your chance to say where I said that women "can not handle rejection". No, honestly, it's your big chance to prove that you were being honest. 

Oh...Oh dear...you can't. Because I did not say or imply it. Damn, that must make you really dishonest. Sorry to expose that. 

"The fucking term feminism was invented to target and suggest that women wanted special fucking privileges instead of the original "equality" idealism" No I am with you here sister. That is precisely the reason that Feminists own the term and have not repplaced it for the term since it was coined in 1837. I mean it is a horrible term and that is why Feminists have embraced it for over 100 years right, BECAUSE it is such a horrible loaded term. You do not need to convince me. You know who you may have to convince? FEMINISTS. (That was all too easy)

But you were saying something that a lot of Feminists say, it is pretty dishonest, but that is about par for the course. 

"
instead of the original "equality" idealism, making it hard to even bring the issue up without immediately having bias. This is included in the more modern term egalitarianism."

Really? OK now show that  this is true and show me where in society where women are advantaged over men , that Feminists have tried to redress the situation (which quite often resulted from Feminist social policies in the first place). I will give you since 1837 to find examples. They can not be vague examples or righting a wrong, they have done or be a side benefit of trying to improve things for a woman. Just something for areas where men are disadvantged in society. Trying to be equal to both genders and in the name of equality. 

They ARE there for equality right? No? Women's equlaity and not men's? There is a book called Animla farm with an apt phrase that says "All Animals are equal but some Animlas are more equal than others" I think this explains Feminism a lot better than being egalitarian or all for equality. Am I wrong? Show me. 

"
Although there are some bitchy women who call themselves feminists, they aren't true feminists."

"No true Scotsman" Fallacy. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_… (Hell, ironic considering your post really)

 "Men aren't socialised to be active pursuers: they are taught to go after girls even to the point of fucking stalking. And yes, my friends have been stalked. Women aren’t socialized to be chased: they’re expected to wait to be chased, and ones who don’t are called sluts. Those who run are called prudes. Those who fucking complain about the system are bitches."

This is great. I am calling you a bold-faced liar and a complete misandrist to boot, BUT I am happy to reconsider this and apologise profusely IF you can show me where "
Men aren't socialised to be active pursuers: they are taught to go after girls even to the point of fucking stalking". No, I think making strong claims is great, but when called on it you cannot say "Umm....well that is how i feel anyhow" (Your feelings and mine do not matter, this is a fact based rational argument).  OR "Well, some men stalk some women". 
Make a claim like this and you will have to show me that the ones who DID stalk were taught to do so and that this teaching was generally what men are taught. 

Can't do it? Did not think so. That is because you are inherently dishonest, sexist against males and without credibility. Perfect Feminist really. Being stupid will help. Are you stupid? Certainly nothing you said is intelligent, but I reserve judgment. 

I will give you a bit of advice about life. This ought not necessarily be confronting. 

In life, some people are nasty to us, because they are nasty. Some people are murderers, rapists, thieves, stalkers, bigots (yourself for example apparently) and some bullies. For as long as you breathe and are a member of society, you will be at risk of exposure to such people. It is NOT systematic, or the norm or socially accepted. It is just a reality. As members of society we have to understand that there are elements in society that are no good for it, but we can only reduce our own risk to such exposure. 

On of YOUR problems is that you are suggesting that these things are a result of being male when NONE of these traits is gender specific or taught. THAT IS SEXIST. Like it or not, or own it or not. Another problem is that embracing Feminism or any other ideology or stamping your feet or waving your fists or saying shitty things on a website comment section, will DO NOTHING to mitigate this. 

Feminism will reduce murder how? What about bullying? What about theft? What about rape? What about bigotry?

It is childish to embrace Feminism for these reasons in exactly the same reason as it is childish stamping your feet over it. 

"And you wonder why she wrote this poem? Because of losers like you, thank you very much."

No, you are very welcome. She wrote this poem because she is a big victim with too many feels and no agency to take care of shit herself and realising that life does not owe her. Big girl panties need to be put on and rainy-face needs to go away. 

"I hope you recognize you can’t compartmentalize genders and sexes, and that in doing so, you are creating behavioral expectations and biases on genders."

I think you are wading into a pool too deep for you to be honest. Pretending what exists doesn't exist and refusing to listen when people report it happening is the white elephant in the room. It too is childish and dishonest. What you MAY do honestly is to say. "I think this exists BUT it is a problem that ought not be encouraged" That would be a case of "Welcome to grown up conversation". You can certainly pretend if you like that all men and all women are the same. You can pretend that all men and all women are not socialised differently. You can pretend that men do not behave differently than women and have exactly the same drives and motivations. You can complain that doing otherwise is compartmentalisation. That is fine but you just exclude yourself from the grown up table, and instead you will have people at the grown up table marvel and laugh at your infantile conversations. 

I tell you this as a friend. I hope it is character building. 

I need not point out the irony of you calling me sexist? No, I did not think so either. 
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