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Cross my wrists and hope to die,
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.

If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.

You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.

Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.

Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or bleeding,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
Finally free.

It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfallen-galaxy:
Fallen-Galaxy Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
so well written  ;-; 
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconfuzed-ice:
fuzed-ice Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014
We are here for you. You can come to us if you ever want to talk, vent, whatever. Dont forget you have people here who love what you do  and I imagine, who you are
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Reply
:iconfuzed-ice:
fuzed-ice Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
hug
Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug 
Reply
:iconnightswarriors:
NightsWarriors Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Stay strong, ellie.

This is beautifully written, and Im speechless... All I have to say is, this made me teary eyed .
 
Reply
:iconbatflashismydrug:
BatflashIsMyDrug Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Do you wanna know why I hate you? Because you're such a goddamn amazing writer and you make me so fucking emotional every time I read anything of yours. You should be published, every single person on the face of this planet should be speaking your name because you are wonderful. You are truly wonderful and I love it. Never stop writing... EVER.
Reply
:iconsimplywolves:
SimplyWolves Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014
oh jeez this brought tears to my eyes. you are a great poet, with words and conveying emotion through those words.
amazing poem   
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :hug:
Reply
:iconak311294:
ak311294 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014
you are an amazing poet and i know how you feel
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :hug:
Reply
:icondrcrazywolf:
DrCrazyWolf Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Be strong man. Never go back to the world of pain. Go to the world filled with happiness. Hug * hugs *
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :glomp:
Reply
:iconblight3131:
blight3131 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014
I enjoyed the beginning a lot. it was actually what drew me in. Keeping the strong and emotional vibes throughout a poem can be challenging but you did it well here
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :hug:
Reply
:iconraphandroll:
RaphAndRoll Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I know the feeling all to well.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconnocturneia:
Nocturneia Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I only rarely enjoy poetry (complicated reasons there), and usually I only read poems by a) Shakespeare, b) Lewis Carroll, or c) my best friend, but I stumbled on this in the related column of something else and it's now stuck in my head (along with another of your works, which I'll go comment on in a bit). I really like the way that your poem is... I guess, it uses everyday language but in a creative way and has a good rhythm. I'm no good at giving eloquent comments, but I think that even if I were then the feelings this evokes would be difficult to describe.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very, very much for leaving such a lovely comment; I honestly do appreciate it! And I think your comment is very eloquent. :hug:
Reply
:iconnatureisnatural:
Natureisnatural Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
I love it.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconnightcoregirl101:
Nightcoregirl101 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
...Your poems are amazing~

This one earns a fav from me; mainly cause I have a friend who's suicidal and we have been cheering her up and tellling her to live~
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very, very much! :)

I hope your friend feels better soon. I used to feel suicidal and my best advice would be to see a doctor about it. They're nowhere near as judgemental or scary about it as you might think. 
Reply
:iconnightcoregirl101:
Nightcoregirl101 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
Yeah~

You're poems are really nice~ Keep writing more!~

さて、あなたは後で見る~!
Reply
:iconvallestin:
Vallestin Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No emoticons or little obscure typed faces can express how I feel right now. This is awesome
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :hug:


Reply
:iconghostshado13:
ghostshado13 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconoceansilverbreeze:
OceanSilverBreeze Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
Normally I hate poems, but I've read of few of yours and these are the poems I would read for a lifetime. They have feeling, soul, whatever you wish to call it. You put emotions into these words, and it's crazy because they're not even written on paper; it's electrical letters plastered on non-existent paper that shows up on a screen. Yet you manage to make the words come alive. They sing and cry and speak the truth. That's truly amazing. Don't ever stop doing this; you're about to reach people's hearts with your words and that's one of the most amazing things in the world.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you very much! Seriously, I have no idea how to respond to a comment as abosolutely lovely as that; you've managed to render me speechless (typeless?)! :hug: :hug: :hug:
Reply
:iconoceansilverbreeze:
OceanSilverBreeze Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
I'm not sure if I've ever done that before... Well, so long as it's the good speechless (and from all the hugs I'm getting, I'm assuming it is), then that's great! Can I hug you too? I'm ganna hug you too. :hug: You deserve it! You're amazing :D :heart:
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hooray for hugs! :hug:
Reply
:iconoceansilverbreeze:
OceanSilverBreeze Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014
HUGS!!!! :hug::hug::hug:
Reply
:iconmalfunctionalscrews:
MalfunctionalSCREWS Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I can still clearly recall the time, when my head was filled with the same exact thoughts, and perhaps that time hasn't really passed. Honestly, if I could, I would build a time machine just to make up for all the countless fuck-ups of mine, but oh well. Your poem has real meaning to it, is what I'm trying to say, so thank you! 
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: :glomp: :iconunicornglompplz:
Reply
:iconm0j0c0:
M0J0C0 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
As a person who has debated suicide with someone sitting on window ledge, peering into the night, wanting to "fade into black" ... it strikes a chilling tone. For all of us who carry pain in the quiet places of our hearts...

BTW, when pen hit paper and the words "...turn bouncy blonde, Into ruby red." had formed, did you experience a slight adrenalin rush? 'cause I do when a stroke of literary brilliance comes my way :-D

p.s. Sometimes words become these empty hollow things, that fail to contain the meaning we ascribe to them, in those moments I find music as the only refuge left to me. Dunno if it is your cup 'o tea but Johnny Cash's rendition of Hurt works.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: 

Haha, thanks! But I don't believe I did. Stuff just comes to me and occasionally it sounds decent. I don't even really think about it.

I'll definitely check that song out!

Thanks for taking the time to leave such a nice comment! :hug:
Reply
:icondefinatelynotperfect:
DefinatelyNotPerfect Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Holy fuck. You are A FUCKIN GENIUS! Your poetry is beautiful; it seems to really be a way for you to express your feelings and sorrows to the world. Amazingly well-written, and I can almost relate. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you very, very much; you are extremely kind! :hug:

((P.S. Is that the lovely Gee Way I see as your icon??)) 
Reply
:icondefinatelynotperfect:
DefinatelyNotPerfect Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The sexy one and only.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Have you heard Fake Your Death yet??
Reply
:icondefinatelynotperfect:
DefinatelyNotPerfect Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my god. I listened to it this morning and preordered the album. Can't wait for it to come out! It's an amazing song though, I love it.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love it too! It's just so sad! Like, I can't deny it anymore; they really are gone. :iconwaahplz:
Reply
:icondefinatelynotperfect:
DefinatelyNotPerfect Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
 Don't cry, it's okay. But the song is 'Fake Your Death' so maybe they're only faking the end and will get back together? Probably not, but I can hope! 
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Mikey's in a new band now (Electric Century), so it's pretty unlikely. Hopefully they'll pull a Fall Out Boy and get back together in a few years and do a massive worldwide reunion tour. :nod:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmitarashii:
mitarashii Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student General Artist
This poem, is just like me... wow... Thank you for writing.. <3 :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconinfinitytempest:
InfinityTempest Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014
Sometimes, at moments like these, I wish I could relate so I can help comfort -and find comfort- for those who need it. Sadly, an experience as dark and chilling as this will never be mine. However, this poem still speaks levels to everyone; not just those who release their pain and sorrow in such a way, but everyone who happens upon this piece. Thank you for sharing this with us; I hope the darkness goes away. c:
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I hope you never experience anything like what this poem is about. :hug:

Thank you for commenting :)
Reply
:iconblacksheep6:
BlackSheep6 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oh god, this is so sad. It's beautiful and wonderfully written and also very sad. Please, if you're still self-harming, please stop. You are too precious and your life is too important to be wasted. 
Reply
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