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I like sharp things;
The way they shine
The way they hurt
The way they leave a red line.

I like to bleed;
The way it's red
They way it hurts
The way it washes out what they said.

I like to live;
The way it's wrong
The way it hurts
The way it tells me that I am strong.
Please let me know what you think. :)
Add a Comment:
 
:icontylerp1991:
tylerp1991 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ey well done
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconrainismysunshine:
rainismysunshine Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
it's beautiful
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconrainismysunshine:
rainismysunshine Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
:glomp: You're welome. :hug:
Reply
:iconricardo-orozco:
Ricardo-Orozco Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Perfect.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconelucidator:
Elucidator Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Lol wut.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Huh?
Reply
:iconelucidator:
Elucidator Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Exactly.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Do you actually have a point or are you just being annoying?
Reply
:iconelucidator:
Elucidator Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Well, since you said in the description "Please tell me what you think", I won't feel like a douche for speaking plainly, I suppose.

I think this poem is laughably indulgent, lacking substance and severely unimaginative. Expressive, but in the same way that a toddler screaming and rolling on the floor is expressive. Though it's apparent that the speaker is feeling emotional, the expression is so immature that you just end up rolling your eyes instead of really relating. Don't get me wrong, I can absolutely relate to the subject of the poem, but the way it's presented is immature and holds no depth. It's sort-of whiny instead of being poetically melancholy or some such.
So it's a pretty weak and self-indulgent poem, but whatever, we all write little snatches of crap in our journals and diaries and that's okay. It's human to melt down like that. But then you actually put it ONLINE, graduating you from whiny to attention-seeking. It would be entirely different if this were a well-crafted and insightful poem that had something to offer the reader, but it isn't.

There.
Reply
:iconblissfull-emo:
blissfull-emo Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Student General Artist
I fully respect your opinion, but in no sense is she whiny or attention seeking. Having be though a lot recently, I think she is entitled to share her feelings how ever she wants.

But it is your opinion and I can not change that.
Reply
:iconelucidator:
Elucidator Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Having been through a lit myself recently, I still think it's juvenile.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, you're the bestest best friend ever! :icontardglompplz:
Reply
:iconblissfull-emo:
blissfull-emo Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Student General Artist
;p I know :hug:
Reply
:iconricardo-orozco:
Ricardo-Orozco Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it seems like the poem is very personal and only some people can relate to it. thats the whole point of poetry in my books. So only some people will understand this poem.
Reply
:iconelucidator:
Elucidator Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I understand it. You don't know where I've been.
Reply
:iconricardo-orozco:
Ricardo-Orozco Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ok sir
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for being honest and I fully respect your opinion. But I didn't post this online to be 'attention-seeking'; I posted it because by posting my feelings online it makes me feel better and people have come to me before on here saying that my poetry helps them because it describes how they are feeling.

Thanks again for taking the time to leave an honest comment. :)
Reply
:iconelucidator:
Elucidator Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Welcome! I'm glad that didn't offend you.
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Everyone's entitled to an opinion. :)
Reply
:iconxxdmitriaxx:
XxDmitriaxX Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I can really relate to this but GOOD JOB! :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :hug:
Reply
:iconxxdmitriaxx:
XxDmitriaxX Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconkatgopur:
Katgopur Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
love this, its so relatable. if you ever need to talk, let me know okay
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it! :hug:
Reply
:iconanditsfriday:
Anditsfriday Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
its so much perfection and its so relatable and stuff :heart:
you okay?
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much. :)
Reply
:iconbittersweetwanderer:
BittersweetWanderer Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Scaary, but cool!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, thanks! :D
Reply
:iconbittersweetwanderer:
BittersweetWanderer Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Always!
Reply
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