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November 25, 2012
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If you cut you'll bleed
If you bleed you'll die
If you're sad you'll smile
And if you smile it's a lie

If you lie you'll live
If you live you'll die
If you cheat you'll win
And if you win you'll cry

If you cry you'll lose
If you lose you'll die
If you run you'll stay
And if you stay you'll fly

If you fly you'll fall
If you fall you'll die
'Cause no-one will catch you
If your life is a lie.
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
Just a little poem I wrote whilst procrastinating.

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think/how to improve. :)
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:iconjokulfrostiguardian:
Mood: Emotional ~JoKuLFrOsTiGuArDiAn Apr 2, 2013  New member Hobbyist General Artist
u.just.described. my.life. thank you for putting it so beautifully
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
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:iconjokulfrostiguardian:
Mood: Depressed ~JoKuLFrOsTiGuArDiAn Apr 3, 2013  New member Hobbyist General Artist
thanks.
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:iconforgottenfears:
Kind of sad that that's the way it all works out in the end. Especially since any of us who are 'different' kind of HAVE to lie to 'fit in' with society. It's always a lose lose situation.
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is. I think it's because a lot of people are scared of others who are 'different' due to a kind of fear of the unknown.
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:iconforgottenfears:
To true, to true. People always fear that which is unknown, however how can you get over that fear? Learn about the unknown so it becomes known. Most people don't grasp that concept.
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:iconfallenlover72:
This is really good. I think, from someone who reads poetry aloud for competitions, that while this is a really strong poem with the a to b, b to c, c to d, ect, if you use some punctuation, just to direct the rhythm and flow of how you read it. You probably chose to not use any punctuation in this poem, but each mark has its use. :)
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
*CorporateRockWhore Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.

I am currently experimenting with the use of punctuation in poetry (if that makes sense?), so your comment has been extremely helpful. Thanks! :)
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:iconfallenlover72:
I get that :) I like to play around with the absence of all punctuation, the overuse of it, or new uses for it. I just really love punctuation d:
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:iconforbravery:
*forbravery Feb 17, 2013  Student Writer
I really love this, I don't know why, especially the first half, I would like to see this poem in a slam poetry reading. I think you would be a great slam poet.
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