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About Literature / Hobbyist Premium Member EllieFemale/United Kingdom Groups :iconkickthephanz: KickthePhanz
 
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Ellie
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
IF YOU GOT THE NIRVANA REFERENCE IN MY NAME THEN I ALREADY LOVE YOU.




I know that no matter how I start this, it will be as awkward as fuck, so I'll just start with my age. I am seventeen, and I live in England, in the arse-end of nowhere where the most excitement we get is a new piece of graffiti at the village bus stop. Yeah.

Music is my life; rock, emo, punk and metal mainly. My all time favorite band is My Chemical Romance, tying with Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy. I'm also into: Kuroshitsuji, Hetalia, danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil and SLOTHS.

The bands I have seen live are; Funeral For a Friend, Lower Than Atlantis, Kids in Glass Houses, All Time Low, All-American Rejects, The Blackout, Blink-182, We Are The Ocean, Pure Love, Gerard Way, Fearless Vampire Killers, Tonight Alive, Chiodos, Green Day, Kaiser Chiefs, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Black Veil Brides. So far, I think that Green Day were the best.

I'm in my second year at college, where I am taking Law, English Literature and Language, and History. I hope to go on to university to do a course in Creative Writing and Journalism.

So yeah; I'm some seventeen-year-old Brit kid in the middle of nowhere who is best friends with a hamster. Nice to meet you!





I DO NOT RESPOND TO CHAIN MAILS OR JOURNAL TAGS. SORRY, BUT I SUCK LIKE THAT


What House of Hogwarts did the Sorting Hat Place You In?
What House of Hogwarts did the Sorting Hat Place You In?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime
Which Hetalia Character Are You?
Which Hetalia Character Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime
Interests

Activity


I am thankful for
How a professional footballer
Is still a professional footballer
Even though he went to prison for rape.

I am thankful for
The number of kids I know
Who cut themselves
Because life is too much.

I am thankful for
The unarmed, retreating black kid
Shot in the back by
An unpunished police officer.

I am thankful for
The number of people
Who are starving to death
In the land of plenty.

I am thankful for
The Westboro Baptist Church
And ISIS
And every other person who uses religion as an excuse for hatred.

I am thankful for
All the gay people
Who have been beaten
Just for daring to love.

I am thankful for
All the transgender people
Who have been beaten
Just for daring to be themselves.

I am thankful for
Pro-Life fascists  
Who put an insentient fistful of cells
Before a living, breathing human and disregard their autonomy.

I am thankful for
The teenage girls
Starving themselves to death
To look like an impossible model.

I am thankful for
All the little girls
Turned brides
Tied to men old enough to be their fathers.

I am thankful for
Female genital mutilation,
Kids getting sewn up so tight
Just because of an obsession with virginity and possession.

I am thankful for
Words like 'slut' and 'whore'
That turn female sexuality
Into a sin.

I am thankful for
The phrases 'man-up'
And 'don't be such a girl',
Like masculinity can be destroyed with tears.

I am thankful for
Hateful slurs
That throw hatred around
Into condensed syllables.

I am thankful for
All the people dying
For no reason
Other than existing in the wrong place.

I am thankful for
All of the kids
Who stay up all night,
Worrying about grades that won't matter in five years' time.

I am thankful for
The fact that the people reading this
Can and will
Change the above.
Thank You
Written for a contest with the theme 'thankful for'. Inspired by William Burroughs' 'Thanksgiving Prayer'.

Needless to say, this is a Juvenalian satire. I am not actually thankful for the above (save for the last stanza). This is a sarcastic piece.
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So, my coursework is going swimmingly, so I have decided to end the hiatus that never really was. I've handed in the first draft of my English coursework like a month early, so that's good - it's nice to be ahead for a change! For my coursework I've had to write an essay comparing Jonathan Swift with Carol Ann Duffy and Have I Got News For You, as well as any other satirical pieces we want to throw in (I've added Green Day's American Idiot). I've also had to write a satirical piece of my own (I did a poem in the style of Carol Ann Duffy) along with a commentary. History coursework is proving a little more tricky, but I'm enjoying the challenge overall - we're writing about the origins of the Cold War, which is actually really interesting. Like, everyone always sees the USSR as the figurative bad guy in relation to the Cold War, but when you study it you see that most of their actions are reactionary to those of the West (eg, the Berlin Blockade was a reaction to the formation of Bizonia in West Germany and a new currency that rendered the East Germany currency virtually worthless) and all they really wanted was security. Of course, they did do some shitty things. But so did the West. Anyway, I'm going off on a historical ramble. 

Good news of the greatest kind; I have heard back from all of the universities I've applied for (all to do some variation of creative writing)! I have conditional offers (eg, I have to get so many points from my A-Levels) from Winchester, Portsmouth and Chichester, and I have an interview for Farnham, so that's all really awesome. I feel like my future is finally starting, y'know? To quote Green Day, 'Today is the first day of the rest of our lives' ( - 'Church on Sunday', from the album Warning).

I've started writing an original story (set in a post-apocalyptic sort of world, about two half sisters who are completely unaware of the other's existence - one is a 'monster', a cold-blooded killer, and the other is the daughter of the leader of the surviving humans, who live in a huge, dome-like structure with a strict and brutal hierarchy, where she is effectively a princess). As you can probably tell, I'm really excited about it! I'm only 12,399 words in, but I only started last week so I guess that isn't so bad, and it's always the first few chapters that are the hardest to write. The working title is Blood Bound, and I hope to have it finished by the new year. So, yeah, wish me luck! 
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: .Blood Infections. -frnkiero and the cellabration
Love is the feeling
Of being hit in the chest by a tidal wave,
A feeling as heavy and crushing
As earth thrown into a grave,
And it could pave
The way to happiness
Or lead us into Hell.

Love is that feeling
When nothing matters but then it does
In high definition
And in your head is an endless repetition
Of every moment you’ve ever
Spent together.

Love is that feeling
When someone else is your oxygen;
You need them to survive,
And every time you touch,
Even in your dreams,
Is the only time you feel alive.

Love is that feeling
Where everything is beautiful
Because your eyes have been stolen
By an angel
But everything is as secure
As it is fragile.

Love is that feeling
When you know it’s all over
But you can’t bring yourself to hate
Them because you want them to be happy,
Even if their happiness
Isn’t you.
Pick at the scabs of the ghosts of scars
On the insides of my wrists,
White hot pain memories shoot up my veins
And the tear vapour creates mists
In the lenses of my glasses.

My world narrows down to those
White stitch marks that keep the
Patchwork of my forearms and thighs
Together,
Keeping the dark ugly hurt
On the insides
Forever.

How could I have done this to myself?
Could I blame you?
And him?
And her too?
No.
I’m a big girl now,
And the blame rests on my wrists,
That flicked the blade
And sprayed the blood,
And the mind that forbade
Me to ask for help.

I’ve said it before
And I’ll say it again;
It isn’t beautiful
To put yourself through such pain.
When your head is buzzing
From the hit of the high
Of a new cut on your thigh,
Or your mind is lost in a mist
Of ecstasy from a new slice
On your wrist
And you’re dependent on it
A junkie needing a hit,
It isn’t pretty or cute or special.

No amount of kisses
Will undo the cuts
Or absorb the scars.
No amount of poetry
Or hits on a picture
Of scars and cuts and blood,
Will make it stop;
Self-harm isn’t some accessory
On sale from a high-fashion shop.

It isn’t a joke,
A poke
At the kid too lost
To even want to be found.
It doesn’t make you
More profound;
It makes you sick,
And you need help.
And there is nothing wrong
With needing help.

Cut yourself
And your friends will bleed.
That is true, indeed.
Even if they don’t know,
If they truly love you so,
Every cut on you
Will scar them
Too.
Self-Harm Isn't a Handbag
I know, I know, I've written on this subject before, but it's still something that gets me riled up; people romanticising self-harm. I wish that people would spread how to get help instead of trying to spread it as a fashion trend. 

If any of you are needing help with this issue, feel free to note me and I will do what I can. :hug:
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language)
The posters on my walls
Are the stained-glass windows
Of my own chapel,
The guitar's screamed calls
Are the hopeful chorus
Of my own hymns.

Headphones are my I.V.
Pumping music medicine
Into me
Through my veins,
Like rivers under my scarred skin
Each white line penance
For my own secret sin.

I fall into pages
Of Austen and Green
And hope I will never
Be seen
Again.

I feel like I'm being
Left behind.
Just the daily grind
Grind
Grinding away at me
And fucking with my
Sanity.

I take a pill every morning,
Sure as a prayer,
To keep me there
Because when I don't take them
I scare
The ones I love the most.

Bury myself in work
And books and music,
Just going on and on and on
And I try to be strong.
Fake it
Until I make it,
And then one day
I just might.
Teenager
I know I said I was on hiatus, but this kinda just happened. So, sorry? :)

I hope you like it. 
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If I start posting photography, should I do so on a new account? 

90%
166 deviants said No
10%
18 deviants said Yes

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:iconcopper9lives:
copper9lives Featured By Owner 20 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave: Hello, and welcome to :iconpoetryparadise:!

We're happy to have you aboard! If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please :note: the group and your friendly neighborhood admins will get back to you ASAP.

Currently, we're hosting a monthly contest — check it out!

:heart:
Copper
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner 2 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
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:iconisagonj:
isagonj Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student General Artist
I'm sorry to bother you but I must say that your poetry is quite amazing. You're already an idol to me, I love writing poetry and you're so amazing at it. I hope you stay safe, have a groovy week and keep doing your best :3
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:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thank you very much! :glomp:
Reply
:icongozekuu:
Gozekuu Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your writing gives off so much feeling and it inspires me to write some more on positive things (also dat hetalia tho ^^)
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